Broken Snow Globe (unfinished)
Water on the ground
Broken glass a shattering sound
We’re lucky there are no fish
God knows it ain’t no baking dish
But it sure meant a lot to me,
Broken snow globe that you didn’t see.
That was as far as I ever got in songwriting. Actually that is a lie, because I did write a song about buying tacos fittingly called “Yo compro tacos”. Anyways, I wrote the above a while back and found it while packing. It seems fitting now. It was meant to be the chorus to a really sad song. Although, I never owned a snow globe. I always thought a broken one would be really sad. Water and fake ice particles everywhere. The miniature world being violently forced into a new bigger world. At the same time, I would like to freeze a snow globe because perhaps it would explode. It would be fitting for such a place of violence, happiness, and idealism.
A 4 year old girl sits impatiently in the hall while her father retrieves items from his storage unit.
Man: “Get over here and sit down where I told you”
Girl drops her Cheetos in some dirt.
Man: “You dumb shit. I’m sick and tired of you wasting money”
Girl: “I want my mommy”
Man: “Well, your mommy is off doing drugs someplace so all you have is your mean daddy.”
Sing goddess of Jagjeet’s rage. Anger. At mankind. And at myself. Storage units are fucked up places. I don’t remember ever wanting to hurt somebody so bad. Instead, I did nothing. There are times that men go outside the law. Yet somehow we do nothing when it matters. Guilt at my weakness. Guilt at my selfishness.
Then a redeeming moment. My neighbor’s kids come by. I gave them my Legos a couple days before. It was one of those things that felt right. My neighbor was like, “Are you sure?” He was like, “I still have my Legos.” I always knew he was a cool guy. That was like an extra confirmation. Anyways, they showed me what they had made and I was almost sad that I hadn’t given them my Legos sooner.
And a going away dinner. It was at Crush. The unexpected bar that became my second home. It was never the kind of place that I pictured myself. And in ways it changed how I pictured myself. More treasured time with so many friends that I will miss. And then the moment is over.
The instructions for life aren’t that different from those of a snow globe.
Step 1: Violently shake snow globe.
Step 2: Watch fake snow slowly come down in happy idealic world.
Step 3: Repeat until nausea sets in.
It is a calm sunny day when I leave San Diego. But it is a violent shake all the same.