The cold red of autumn comes.  And I slowly wash the dried blood from my hair.  The sick sticky feeling.  Another injury earned some stupid way.  It’s not the first time since this all began.  And probably not the last.  The last required a tetanus shot and my arm was sore for days.  Because rusty wire cutters are no fun and it’d been too long since I had one.  And as I sprawled out on the kitchen floor, I couldn’t help but smile.  Reminders that life ends.  So you better do it well…

A trip to San Diego.  The unfinished chapter.  And a trip to Vegas.  The drunken chapter.  At first, I am unsure if I made a mistake in leaving my isolation.  But the moment passes.  And the need for isolation doesn’t make a return.  So many friends together again.  And I watch as friends of friends become friends.

There are these moments of clarity when you know everything is going to be alright.  The smile that brings laughter.  Because someday you’ll be back to find out what it was about.  And conversations with an old friend.  Although maybe you were never friends but only wanted to be.  It doesn’t matter because there will be plenty of time…

I will be gone for 5 months.  And the destinations I go to are as follows:

Quito, Ecuador
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Santiago, Chile
Bangkok, Thailand
Bombay, India
Delhi, India

But whether they chose me or I chose them remains to be seen.  The moth might be drawn to the flame or maybe attracted to it.  The subtle distinctions of control.

An early dinner with my mom.  A last night out with friends.  Nights of brownie poo and “hobosexuals” quickly come to an end.  My dad and stepmom will take me to the airport.  And I am thankful for the time I had back.  Because for a moment the days became weeks and weeks became months.

Now I leave in hours.  The excitement builds.  And solitude fades to freedom…

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